Cory, the horse

I promise she really did come see me..

I promise she really did come see me..

#TBT So this is Cory. I met this beauty when I was at Windhorse farm a couple weeks ago. I was there for 5 days for a retreat/leadership training (best 5 days ever). Anyway, I would go to the fence and hang there for a few minutes, a couple times a day, and Cory would stay where she was, doing her thing (usually eating…we have a lot in common). I’d try my hardest to coerce her to come over to me. I’d make those weird horse calling sounds with my mouth (don’t pretend you don’t know the ones I’m talking about), I’d talk to her and I even thought that I could try with my mind to send her some vibes to walk over and see me (YES I ACTUALLY DID THIS). No luck.

My last morning there was different. Every other time I was pretty disappointed and actually had thoughts like “oh she can probably already tell from over there that she doesn’t like me”. (**Can anyone name this limiting belief??). What I realized was that I was worried that she could really “see me”. I was thinking she could see all of me and didn’t like me cause she knew I was hiding, putting on a facade. She could tell that I was not allowing people to fully see me and that I was not even allowing me the chance to fully see me— love me. HOW DID SHE KNOW ALL OF THIS?!  As we know animals are much more in tune with energy. They don’t live in their minds like we do. This story I am sharing is a clear example of how much I was living in my mind during all of these visits with her—until the last day. (Yes, all this really came up during my interactions with this horse. What can I say? I have a powerful mind.)

So there I was, day 5. By this point I had given up any idea that she would come over to me and was actually totally okay with her keeping her distance. I had let go and surrendered to it all being fine and perfect and felt such a deep respect for her soul, the magic of her just being herself and doing what she wanted. I walked up to the fence and said hey girl. And there she came. She walked right up to me, gave me a few sniffs, looked me in the eye and let me pet her beautiful face. I felt so much joy in that moment. We connected. Two souls dancing together in space. I felt a deep knowing that we were both fine, both held in love by a divine light. She did that. And I did that. We were just.. together. Neither of us trying to be anything different.

I bet you’re wondering why the heck I am talking so much about this horse? It’s because she was such a mirror for me. Cory was just being herself. She knew she didn’t have to do anything extra or be anything more. She could listen to what she wanted to do and do just that. What it allowed was for me to accept her just as she is and love her, unconditionally. The kind of love this beautiful horse gives herself and bestowed upon me, is not something my mind fully comprehends. But that’s because it does not exist at the level of the intellectual mind. And this is where I’ve hung out for so long. To live in my heart, in my body, feels totally foreign, not to mention terrifying.

So this is what Cory taught me: That I don’t have to be any more, or any less. That I don’t have to hide. That in fact I can’t continue hiding from myself anymore, it hurts way more to be unseen than it does to face the pain/old stories that keep me hiding. To keep parts of me locked away is a betrayal of self, a betrayal of my light, the fire that lives and has always lived within me; the light that is me. My mind is brilliant but it is way more powerful when it receives insights from my heart. The ones that whisper “you’re fine”.  What Cory offered me was permission to be myself.

So to you I say: Let your light shine. Your honouring of yourself, your light, lets others do the same. That unconditional love that Cory has for herself, for me, we all have access to that at anytime. It’s ours to remember. It really is okay to just be yourself. And if you are thinking “but I don’t even know who I am”, just remind yourself that no question was ever answered without it being posed in the first place. So you could just start asking..